Here is a secret that every great dogging fan knows: a clear yes is the best turn on there is. When everyone is excited, relaxed and happy to be there, the whole evening crackles. Consent is not a hurdle to get over. It is the thing that makes the fun possible, and it can be playful, flirty and full of anticipation. This guide covers how to ask, how to answer and how to be the kind of member everyone hopes to meet. Everything on Dogging Dates is for adults aged 18 and over.
A clear yes is the start
Real enthusiasm sounds like a confident, happy yes. It is not silence, a shrug, a maybe or someone going along with things to be polite. If you are not sure, ask. A simple "are you happy with this?" is friendly, warm and rather attractive. And if you are the one being asked, you are free to answer honestly. The people worth meeting will love your honesty.
Everyone can change their mind
A yes today does not have to be a yes tomorrow, or even a yes five minutes from now. Anyone can pause, slow down or call it a night at any point, with no explanation needed. If someone changes their mind, smile, say thanks for letting you know and respect it fully. That kind of grace makes people want to meet you again, and it keeps every adventure feeling good.
A no is a complete answer
Hearing no can sting for a moment, but handling it well is one of the most appealing things you can do. If someone says no thanks, do not ask why, do not try to talk them round and do not send repeated messages. Simply say "no problem, take care" and move on. Remember that the same goes for you. You are never obliged to explain yourself, and you can say no kindly and firmly whenever you like.
Talk about boundaries early
Chatting about what everyone is into, and what is off the table, is one of the most exciting parts of the build up. It does not need to feel clinical. Try saying what you are curious about, what you would like to keep for another time and how you will signal if you want to pause. Many people like to agree a simple word or gesture that means stop, so everyone can relax and enjoy themselves. If you are joining as a couple, check in with each other first and again along the way.
- Share what you are keen on, and what is a definite no.
- Agree a signal for pausing or stopping.
- Check that everyone feels the same before anything happens, and again as you go.
- Be happy for plans to change.
Good manners never go out of style
A little courtesy makes you instantly attractive. Be on time, or message if you are running late. Be friendly, be clean and tidy, and treat everyone you meet with respect, whether the spark is there or not. Keep your voice low and your manner calm, and never push anyone to join in. Watching and chatting are perfectly welcome, and nobody owes anyone anything.
Respect privacy
What happens between consenting adults stays between them. Never share names, photos, screenshots or messages from other members without their clear permission, and never take a photo of anyone who has not agreed to it. If someone asks you to keep something to yourself, do exactly that. Being trusted is a lovely reputation to have. Our guide to staying discreet and savvy has plenty more on keeping things under wraps.
Keep chat flirty, not pushy
Flirting is brilliant when both people are enjoying it. Think playful teasing, compliments that feel sincere and a sense of humour. Skip pushy openers, repeated messages and requests for photos. Messaging comes with a premium membership, so make each message count with a warm hello and room for a reply. Silence is an answer too, so when someone does not reply, leave it there and look forward to the next person who will.
Report and block
If anyone ignores a no, pressures you or makes you uncomfortable, use the block and report tools. Blocking is instant and needs no explanation, and reporting lets the team know about behaviour that is not welcome here. These tools exist so that everybody can focus on having a good time.
More to explore
New to the scene? Start with our getting started guide, then browse the community guidelines for the friendly house rules. Daydreaming about the real thing? Have a look at planning your first dogging adventure.
Ready to meet people who know a clear yes is the best turn on? Join free and start the conversation.
- consent
- etiquette
- boundaries